— nayyirah waheed (via thatkindofwoman)
I’m watching The Addams Family, and I’ve decided to adopt their motto as my own: “We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.”
Anonymous said: in regards to "safe, sane, consensual" and how the idea of sanity is pretty ableist - what do you think about mentally ill people playing? i have never had a kinky partner before but i always feel nervous that, i don't know, maybe i like to top because it serves as an outlet to my anxiety, and maybe thats an unhealthy way to deal, stuff like that, you know? how do you know whats okay?
i feel fine about mentally ill people playing! i think that every single one of us needs to do serious thinking about our motivations and serious communication around consent to do this stuff and that’s just as true for a person with mental illness as anyone else.
people with mental illnesses individually know themselves better than i know them as a whole; i trust them to make decisions about whether they personally, at a given moment, feel okay consenting to things or gauging another person’s consent, or evaluating their own desires. i trust them if they say “i am fine” as much as i trust any other person raised in rape culture without mental illness (which is to say, kinda not but it’s the best we can do sometimes); i also trust them to say “my thinking is warped right now and i shouldn’t do this until i have clearer perspective/control/communication”. i trust them to do both those things for themselves without anyone on the outside imposing on them.
like a person without mental illness, i also invite you (and anyone else) to decide to put things to the side if you don’t feel confident they’re in the best interests of yourself and your partner/s.
also i think can be a fantastic outlet for playing out stress, anxiety, insecurity, etc, if done in productive, self-aware ways with strong communication channels and willing, informed partners. i think it’s a great sandbox for working out stuff and can actually be really healthy/productive and idk about thinking of it as “medical treatment” but a lot of people find some kink practices very relieving of their symptoms.
so really, like anyone else… it’s up to you to decide.
there are disability advocates into kink. they are well known and do several workshops, lectures and the like regarding these topics, in addition to how to make kink spaces and communities less ableist for people with various disabilities.
some folks to look out for/reach out to include:
bethany stevens at crip confessions
robin wilson-beattie at Sex Abled (coming by end of October) a Black woman w/a disability who is active in kink community and who does this for a living!
if you need to get in contact with them feel free to reach out to me.
this is such a good post? izzy is very smart. i am reblogging this for everyone who really needs to know about ableism, kink, and mental health—at 4 am. probably a large demographic tbh
(if you’re on tumblr at 4 am and you follow this blog, let’s face it, you probably have a vested interest in at least one of those topics)
fucking thank you / remember the time i went to my first leatherdyke weekend completely alone and thought i shouldn’t take my xanax because i wouldn’t be sober / last year at the same one i facilitated a workshop about this and might do it again in Mtl in 2015
Ernest Hemingway would have died rather than have syntax. Or semicolons. I use a whole lot of half-assed semicolons; there was one of them just now; that was a semicolon after “semicolons,” and another one after “now.”
And another thing. Ernest Hemingway would have died rather than get old. And he did. He shot himself. A short sentence. Anything rather than a long sentence, a life sentence. Death sentences are short and very, very manly. Life sentences aren’t. They go on and on, all full of syntax and qualifying clauses and confusing references and getting old. And that brings up the real proof of what a mess I have made of being a man."
Ursula K. Le Guin on being a man – the finest, sharpest thing I’ve read in ages(via explore-blog)