having andy on gchat to kitchen top me through making said pasta
going to a café i discovered by searching marseille tags on tumblr even though i was having an anxiety-doesn’t-want-me-to-leave-the-house day
2,50€ for a pastis that came with three different tiny snacks
writing (including the staring into space and dicking around that the process of writing requires) while drinking said pastis
settling on a post topic for this thursday: there is no blanket consent in polyamory
instinctively saying the right thing in french to explain to the guy at the vegetable stand that i’d already paid and the money he was picking up again in confusion was the change he’d given me (it was the end of his day; happens to the best of us)
feelin’ smart because i saved a googlemap of lingerie stores and an epic-looking macaron shop as a .jpg in my roaming-data-disabled phone so i can shop in préfecture this week without getting lost or standing on a corner looking at a map
starting to feel more confident that i am really an ideal candidate for the job i just applied for, and looking forward to an info-gathering/visioning sesh with karl next week to prep for my interview
gonna go take a shower and then climb into extremely crisp clean sheets. small pleasures.
see how the bullet points got longer and the good things got better? this is why i do this. snowballing emotions work in the other direction too, if sometimes less strongly. (teehee, snowballing.)
and I disagree with the attempts to co-opt/”reclaim” the word slut.
why do we just not reject it altogether, along with the notion that there is anything wrong with women enjoying sex on their own terms?
*for me* reclaiming terms has been an effective way to remove their power to hurt me. this has been true of “dyke,” of “queer,” and of “lesbian” (which has become an insult, i think, within the queer community). when someone shouts “dyke” at me, i think, “…yes?” when some radqueer little shit is like “that’s so…lesbiannnn,” i’m like “…yeah?” they intend to insult, but in fact all they’ve done is identify me as something i am content to be. i feel the same way about slut, but probably a bit more complexly because of its paradoxical meaning and role in some types of sex i enjoy.
all of that said, my reclaiming of words is facilitated by the fact that i, of all queers, dykes, lesbians, and sluts, am at really low risk of actually being harmed by people identifying me as such. i’m cis, i’m white, i’m middle-class and employed somewhere that’s queer-, poly-, sex-, and kink-positive, and i often pass for straight. i don’t think it’s part of “feminism” to reclaim slut or any of those other terms; reclamation is not a prescriptive tenet of The Feminism. it is one personally significant way that i enact feminism on my own identities and my own body, but i can’t really claim that any other people should enact feminism on their own identities and bodies in the same way (or that they should enact feminism on their identities and bodies at all, given how fucked up the broad community/movement of feminism has been towards a lot of communities of women).
“I (…) have been amused, stimulated, charmed interested by the first 2 or 3 chapters—to the end of the Cemetery scene; & then puzzled, bored, irritated, & disillusioned as by a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples. And Tom, great Tom, thinks this on a par with War & Peace! An illiterate, underbred book it seems to me: the book of a self-taught working man, & we all know how distressing they are, how egotistic, insistent, raw, striking, & ultimately nauseating. When one can have cooked flesh, why have the raw?”—
Note to self: Don’t get on Virginia Woolf’s bad side. (via thedandybutch)
or just don’t be a self-absorbed self-aggrandizing Artist Dude.
I would like to live in literally every one of these, please.
Reblob for roommate
At summer camp, I rolled off the top bunk and hit the floor. If you ever want a reality experience that involves humiliation and pain and you don’t want to pay $200 an hour for it, I recommend giving it a try.
I know this makes me a douchebag, but I am totally into the blue neon Tron room. If I had that room, I would change my name to one letter, go to oxygen bars and only eat rice, one grain at a time.
MINI HALFPIPE BEDROOM, MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN REALIZED. SK8 OR DIE!!!!!!
K, I really do love these elevated loft bed rooms… but does anyone else wonder what happens when you wanna have sex in your bed? Seems like it would be a bit of a tight squeeze. :/
I think I’d opt out of the bed and have her put her hands on the desk.
I AM TRYING TO WRITE A POST FOR CUNTEXT FOR THURSDAY
IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT POLY, MAKING IT YOUR OWN, AND THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IN THE PAST SIX MONTHS FROM NIC DATING THE NEW GIRL, US BREAKING UP, AND STARTING TO DATE RED (WHO IS MONOGAMISH)
BUT I AM HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME WRITING THIS POST WITHOUT DELVING INTO ESSENTIALLY TRASHING THE FUCK OUT OF MY EX FOR BEING THE MOST FUCKING STUBBORN AND SELFISH AND UNYIELDING AND SELF-IGNORANT/IN DENIAL AND CONTROLLING PERSON I HAVE EVER BEEN CLOSE TO/GOING INTO THE DETAILS OF WHY THE WAY SHE WENT ABOUT FLIRTING WITH THEN DATING THIS NEW GIRL WERE SO FUCKING NOT OKAY AND HURTFUL AND UNACCEPTABLE
And before anyone is like “It’s not writerfail to have feelings,” in this case it kind of is because 1. I have written about these feelings ad nauseum in my own actual private journal, and talked about them ad nauseum (LITERALLY) with close friends and my therapist, and 2. my feelings about how fucked up Nic was in that situation are not the fucking point of what I want to write about I want to write about FIGURING IT OUT and how it’s not “LESS POLY” to actually fucking work together to figure out how to do it comfortably.
me: HOW COULD YOU NOT PRIORITIZE MARCELINE IN THE TELLING OF ADVENTURE TIME I AM A LITTLE BIT MAD SHE IS A *****GIRLMONSTER*****
c: well, you shouldn’t be, I was saving those ones and I talked about the show and the characters and mentioned Marceline but I guess that never registered at all
me: when/in what context did you mention marceline? i am annoyed/astounded that i missed this/did not make you show me the marceline episodes FIRST
c: ah, I mentioned the controversy about PBG and Marceline when I first started watching the show
me: hahahahahah maybe i heard the word “controversy” and tuned out?
c: it’s possible! I mean, I explained as ‘stupid corporate bullshit censoring the artists behind a show’ the first time
me: feel like GIRL VAMPIRE DATES PRINCESS is really all i wanted to hear YEAH NO OBVS NOT INTO THAT/DONT CARE dont care about the actual world just care about marceline not even a legit controversy anyway OBVS MARCELINE IS AWESOME AND QUEER
c: it’s not legit, that’s why it’s so stupidI mentioned Marceline the last time along with LSP, because LSP is also hilariously awesome
me: LSP is amazing (all the princesses are) but like marceline is a MONSTER and that is even better than a princess
c: I clearly need better keywords for my conversations with you
wait, but fuckdudeskilldudes have you read fire by kristin cashore? because you should. it is about a ladymonster and it’s epic YA. also graceling is the one that comes before that and it was even better. and the third one, bitterblue, comes out in june.
A student blows up at a teacher, drops the F-bomb. The usual approach at Lincoln – and, safe to say, at most high schools in this country – is automatic suspension. Instead, Sporleder sits the kid down and says quietly: “Wow. Are you OK? This doesn’t sound like you. What’s going on?”
He gets even more specific: “You really looked stressed. On a scale of 1-10, where are you with your anger?” The kid was ready. Ready, man! For an anger blast to his face….”How could you do that?” “What’s wrong with you?”…and for the big boot out of school. But he was NOT ready for kindness.
The armor-plated defenses melt like ice under a blowtorch and the words pour out: “My dad’s an alcoholic. He’s promised me things my whole life and never keeps those promises.” The waterfall of words that go deep into his home life, which is no piece of breeze, end with this sentence: “I shouldn’t have blown up at the teacher.” Whoa.
YO I REALLY HATE THE CONTEMPORARY DISCOURSE THAT PRIVILEGES ‘no feelings’ and is intensely suspicious of strong romantic connections (or really, almost any strong connection with another human being).
And people wonder why they’re numb all the time, and find it impossible to feel joyful? Probably because humans are fundamentally, inescapably, social creatures. Being suspicious to the point of hysterical paranoia about your own instinct to connect with other people is beyond.
You’re going to like people a whole lot, and they’re going to maybe leave you. Maybe treat you terribly. Maybe you’ve treated people terribly. Maybe not though. Either way, you’re human, you’re going to feel feelings and it doesn’t make you weak or stupid or out of control. Get fucking used to it.
If Majesstica taught me anything (AND THEY TAUGHT ME LOTS), it’s that being tender and open with other people shows way more strength than being cool and aloof. I forget who said it, but gee whiz did they say it:
Cool is just hyperconservatism wearing better clothes.