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good things: okay okay fine life is p good

  • i love leatherdykes. i love canadian leatherdykes with my entire soul and being and am watching the calmest, least awful discussion of gender policy and transfemininity i have ever seen unfold in a fucking FACEBOOK THREAD right now.
  • my boyyyy is moving in upstairs from me all summer double-decker barbecue forever.
  • (as andy pointed out last night, there is like no way felix won’t totally become the kind of barbecue bro whose summer catchphrase is “yeah why don’t we just do this on the grill yeah”.)
  • my family is closing for the knife. closing for THE FUCKING KNIFE yes really oh my god. 
  • i only have two months left of work. this means i keep referring to it as school because i’m about to be on summer vacation.
  • my bedroom is sort of functional again sort of
  • last night andy BIKED to my house and then fancy came and then we cover letter bootcamped them and ate delicious food with my roommate and their date
  • i eavesdropped on a sub-rosa and sub-rosa-with-a-different-last-name chat last night and i love the sub-rosas they are so similar to my besties from high school and now sub-rosa’s sub-rosa is mocking my sub-rosa because anarchy and love and the combination of the two and it’s amazing
  • pretty sure i’m going to california for three weeks this summer
  • pretty sure i’m gonna do sewing boot camp with my namesake aunt and oma
  • maybe andy will come for sewing boot camp toooooo and it’ll be the cutest intergenerational queer famjam
  • i’m lying in bed listening to the score with the window and back door open. you aren’t? what are you even doing with your life? 
  • (in my mermaid nightgown)
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good things: mountain goats edition

  • on day six of vacation, i finally feel like maybe i’m not so brittle (i.e. crazy) and it’s such a relief to feel like a person and love my partner and stuff
  • just booked a train ticket to hudson new york to see the mountain goats and rebecca 
  • kind of dying because you know it’s only been like eight years or something that i’ve been waiting to see the mountain goats 
  • and now i get to do it with rebecca
  • and maybe i get to see her all-through-undergrad roomie too and i haven’t seen her since she finished mcgill and left mtl (except maybe once for breakfast one time?) 
  • started rearranging my room with felix and aside from the fact that i had a complete meltdown last night i am really excited about what i’m planning to do with it
  • especially the part where the shadowbox they made me is gonna be transformed into a leather showcase for my flogger and cuffs and mask and crown (and maybe my zana bayne harness? we’ll see)
  • the shadowbox is poplar and stained rosy and the woodgrain is so pretty and it’s had felix’s hands all over it
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good things: tiny edition

  • "don’t fuck with me don’t fuck with me," the flawless first line of dj eko’s soultronica volume 5 (how did it never occur to me before tonight that if there was a volume 2 more volumes might have come after me). 
  • this work week is over, and i made great decisions about how to manage having way too much on my plate
  • i did all the essential things this week
  • including all the ninety billion essential work tasks, despite having way too many essential work tasks
  • i finally made time for a sensitive work-related convo today and it went so well and i’m back to loving my job (i hate you/don’t leave me: not just about human beings in the borderline heart)
  • it’s my fucking weekend finally
  • just discovered that “colomb” is in soultronica volume 4 so that’s downloading
  • don’t even care that it’s freezing outside i’m drinking raspberry leaf tea under my down duvet with my headphones on
  • okay i’m over being online time to get back to the scorpio races, a perfect treat after finally getting through bonheur d’occasion after seven years of procrastination
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buttcuddler asked: Hey. I know we don't know each other, basically at all, but I think you're rad. And I always wish you good things when I see your posts. Canadian winters are the utter worst for mental health but it's almost over. Just know I'm sending you struggle support whenever you need it.

aw, thank you! <3

(oops. did not mean to answer that publicly; cannot figure out how to undo. but that’s okay it is a nice thing!)

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good things: family edition

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good things: california christmas edition

  • mole, sound, AND fury home for the holidays. the four of us haven’t been in the same place since we were, like, 21. it’s amazing.
  • just watched BEYONCÉ on my dad’s flatscreen with the sound system hooked up and it was even more amazing than the other eight thousand times i’ve watched it.
  • eight million bean taquitos with guacamole every day.
  • felix is here and my parents and besties love him.
  • today when felix met my sister it was like the most perfect introduction ever because she rolled up totally unannounced as we were leaving for brunch and was like, “where the fuck are YOU going?” and then just like lazily climbed up me like i was a tree and she was a tiny koala when she hugged me hello. 
  • but also felix is not here in my house right now because he went for a walk to have alone time right when i also really wanted alone time. perfect.
  • tonight my sister and my mom are coming over to my dad’s house to decorate the tree with us.
  • my stepmom got apple cider for us to drink.
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good things: fairytales edition

  • i’m dreaming again. i love dreaming; my whole life, i have dreamed long, strange dreams and usually remembered them. when that isn’t happening, it generally means i’m not quite properly functioning, psychologically.
  • spent saturday tripping with andy and aurora for aurora’s birthday at her new-ish place and it was perfect. aurora’s loft is full of mirrors and psychedelic colors and complicated textiles and multicolored markers and closets to hide in and piles of boxes and stairs for adventuring; it felt like finding a witch cottage in the woods, being lured in, and then realizing you never wanna leave because the sensual life is a sensible one.
  • we also watched fantasia projected on the giant wall of aurora’s loft, with speakers. yes, it was perfect. 
  • it was also kind of a family day, the kind that hasn’t ever really happened before, i don’t think, with me and andy and nic and aurora and nic’s girlfriend. those are my favorite times, lots of people who love each other all in a house, coming together and splitting off and coming back together. and it felt like a holiday because andy was making food and nic’s girlfriend was making cake and it was a birthday.
  • i love holidays. i think it’s a bit of a littles thing. 
  • had an unplanned five-hour skype date with felix from my bed on sunday and it was so nice and goddamn i love making people come when they’re exhausted and aren’t sure if they can.
  • i get to see felix in a week and a half-ish in boston!
  • and karl and mini-box!
  • and i get to meet karl’s partner and apparently they’re super in love so i’m really excited.
  • also karl is giving me and felix their bed while we’re in boston so we can bone. karl’s a great bro.
  • felix and i made a plan for them to move closer within the next year, and i think it will work and also be amazing for their mental health. i can’t wait.
  • registered for a program that’s my next professional step, a training that will allow me to offer alternative mental health care in exactly the way that i believe is most important: through the body. 
  • less than a month until california for christmas with ALL crew members for the first time since we were, like, 20 or 21. and felix! and my perfect princess sister and my parents and both of their partners. 
  • i’ve decided to have a good winter that’s all about winter (see tag: “walking in a winter wonderland”). i will light candles whenever i feel like it to make the darkness pretty and cozy and i will go for short walks outdoors at night and cuddle up under my down duvet and read fairytales and myths, and roast a lot of root vegetables and make a lot of soup.
  • i’m getting my half-sleeve on december 13th and originally it was supposed to be this week but i’m kind of thrilled that it’ll be a friday the 13th. 
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good things: i’m not rly bored edition

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good things: mtl/damn it feels good to be a grown-up edition

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good things

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good things: livin’ the dream

  • my boy. 10 days until i’m in new york, sleeping with him every night, spending all day alone in the city writing and writing and writing, playing with this dynamic we are building in a way that might actually let it grow and settle a little.
  • in the next month i have three workshoppy type gigs lined up: a kink/embodiment/consent workshop for youth sex educators, a queer/trans positivity training module for future yoga teachers, a community conversation on D/s and mental health at unholy harvest.
  • i believe that i have quite possibly found my future life’s work in phoenix rising yoga therapy and will be pursuing the first step towards certification probably in march 2014.
  • i have a trustworthy deadline to drop down to four days a week at my real job so i can write more.
  • truly there is not a single area of my life that is not incredibly full of incredibly good things right now and i may be sleep deprived and sometimes so anxious and not fitting everything in all the time, but it’s still okay. more than okay.
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good things: family weekends

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good things: tonight in montréal

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