one of the toughest aspects of mental illness is how often your goals fall by the wayside because the only goal you can afford is survival.
Anonymous said: in regards to "safe, sane, consensual" and how the idea of sanity is pretty ableist - what do you think about mentally ill people playing? i have never had a kinky partner before but i always feel nervous that, i don't know, maybe i like to top because it serves as an outlet to my anxiety, and maybe thats an unhealthy way to deal, stuff like that, you know? how do you know whats okay?
i feel fine about mentally ill people playing! i think that every single one of us needs to do serious thinking about our motivations and serious communication around consent to do this stuff and that’s just as true for a person with mental illness as anyone else.
people with mental illnesses individually know themselves better than i know them as a whole; i trust them to make decisions about whether they personally, at a given moment, feel okay consenting to things or gauging another person’s consent, or evaluating their own desires. i trust them if they say “i am fine” as much as i trust any other person raised in rape culture without mental illness (which is to say, kinda not but it’s the best we can do sometimes); i also trust them to say “my thinking is warped right now and i shouldn’t do this until i have clearer perspective/control/communication”. i trust them to do both those things for themselves without anyone on the outside imposing on them.
like a person without mental illness, i also invite you (and anyone else) to decide to put things to the side if you don’t feel confident they’re in the best interests of yourself and your partner/s.
also i think can be a fantastic outlet for playing out stress, anxiety, insecurity, etc, if done in productive, self-aware ways with strong communication channels and willing, informed partners. i think it’s a great sandbox for working out stuff and can actually be really healthy/productive and idk about thinking of it as “medical treatment” but a lot of people find some kink practices very relieving of their symptoms.
so really, like anyone else… it’s up to you to decide.
there are disability advocates into kink. they are well known and do several workshops, lectures and the like regarding these topics, in addition to how to make kink spaces and communities less ableist for people with various disabilities.
some folks to look out for/reach out to include:
bethany stevens at crip confessions
robin wilson-beattie at Sex Abled (coming by end of October) a Black woman w/a disability who is active in kink community and who does this for a living!
if you need to get in contact with them feel free to reach out to me.
this is such a good post? izzy is very smart. i am reblogging this for everyone who really needs to know about ableism, kink, and mental health—at 4 am. probably a large demographic tbh
(if you’re on tumblr at 4 am and you follow this blog, let’s face it, you probably have a vested interest in at least one of those topics)
fucking thank you / remember the time i went to my first leatherdyke weekend completely alone and thought i shouldn’t take my xanax because i wouldn’t be sober / last year at the same one i facilitated a workshop about this and might do it again in Mtl in 2015
THE NEW DISEASE CAME. I LEARN THAT TIME DOES NOT HEAL. EVERYTHING GETS WORSE WITH DAYS. I HAVE SPOTS LIKE A DOG. I COUGH AND CANNOT TURN MY HEAD. I CONSIDER SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE I DO NOT LIKE. I NEED TO LIE BACK TO FRONT WITH SOMEONE WHO ADORES ME. I WILL THINK MORE BEFORE I CANNOT. I LOVE MY MIND WHEN IT IS FUCKING THE CRACKS OF EVENTS. I WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW IN CASE IT IS OF USE. I WANT TO GO TO THE FUTURE PLEASE.
our relationship has been awful for weeks and now it’s official: sleep has dumped the fuck out of me.
love waking up physically ill with anxiety.
just sent one of those horrifically humiliating emails where you have to ask your friends to make an extra effort to act like your friends because you are so depressed and your bpd keeps telling you no one really likes you. this is so boring. can’t it just be summer yet? in summer i don’t care how many hands and arms touch my skin because the sun will do it enough for me to survive on.
yilduza said: BPD has four main symptom pillars: relationship difficulties (often overly focused on in media & literature, at least partially because so much of the literature is ableist and focuses on the effect of BPD on those AROUND the person diagnosed), emotional instability, impaired perception and reasoning, and impulsivity. An unstable/unreal sense of identity is often also a factor that affects each of those four symptom clusters as well.
this is maybe the most succinct accessible flawless definition of bpd i have ever seen!
step 1: have the feelings
step 2: say/do things based on them
stop interrupting yourself by categorizing.