Dating advice


Let every person you sleep with know that it is a privilege to fuck you

A privilege they can easily lose

If they don’t recognize how incredibly lucky they are

Yeah, this has recently become my official position. Sex is something that’s really intrinsic to my understanding of myself and my body, and something that I spend a lot of time thinking about and working on, in the purely joyful sense of “work”. I am always considering, always pushing myself, always becoming more flexible and diverse in my capabilities. It pays off. I’m excellent in bed, and I’m sick of people saying I’m the best they’ve ever had but not acting like that’s something truly valuable to them. I need to fuck people who value the care, the thought, and the emotional labor I put into it as much as they value the way fucking me makes them feel.

(Source: femmadilemma)



Started Well That Sentence: Sinclair Sexsmith just came to speak to my SWGS class

I’ll give some thought about how to reply to the cultural appropriation part of studying tantra.

glad you had a good time! 


He writes The Sugarbutch Chronicles. I’m going to say upfront, I think his practice of some non-Western religions/cultures is probably appropriative, but besides that (not ignoring that), it was a bit amazing. And really, really squee-worthy.

It’s just, for the entirety of that class, which is…

I would LOVE to hear thoughts about the cultural appropriation of practicing tantra as white people living in North America. It’s something I always think about when considering pursuing those teachings myself, something I think about a lot in relation to my own yoga practice and yoga teaching, and something I think about whenever reading stuff like Ecstasy is Necessary (which, as probably everyone who’s spoken to me or followed me on Twitter or Tumblr knows, I adore and found really useful).

(Source: startedwellthatsentence)

I wrote about sluts and how fucking does not deplete their power because fucking is the reward, not the sacrifice.

Been thinking about this for probably like a year; I was reminded that I’d been meaning to write this post when this quote started making the rounds on the internets:

Stop degrading the act of sex by calling it ‘opening your legs.’

I’m so sick of women being degraded all the time. Because women just, you know, lay back and ‘spread their legs’ and let men do whatever they want. They don’t take any active role in the actual sex act or enjoy it. They are just objects that lay there with their legs open. Then they are stupid because through poor judgement or mishap, they became pregnant. The man is never blamed or shamed or degraded for having sex. There are no phrases used to degrade the act of a man participating in a sexual act, at least not a heterosexual one.

Anyways. The post is also slightly porny. Bonus!

"Human beings took our animal need for palatable food … and turned it into chocolate souffles with salted caramel cream. We took our ability to co-operate as a social species … and turned it into craft circles and bowling leagues and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We took our capacity to make and use tools … and turned it into the Apollo moon landing. We took our uniquely precise ability to communicate through language … and turned it into King Lear.

None of these things are necessary for survival and reproduction. That is exactly what makes them so splendid. When we take our basic evolutionary wiring and transform it into something far beyond any prosaic matters of survival and reproduction … that’s when humanity is at its best. That’s when we show ourselves to be capable of creating meaning and joy, for ourselves and for one another. That’s when we’re most uniquely human.

And the same is true for sex. Human beings have a deep, hard-wired urge to replicate our DNA, instilled in us by millions of years of evolution. And we’ve turned it into an intense and delightful form of communication, intimacy, creativity, community, personal expression, transcendence, joy, pleasure, and love. Regardless of whether any DNA gets replicated in the process.

Why should we see this as sinful? What makes this any different from chocolate souffles and King Lear?"

— Greta Christina (Sex and the Off-Label Use of Our Bodies) (via metatheatre, sexisnottheenemy) (via paintupurple) (via nancaia) (via moniquill) (via updowncontinue) (via cloneboy) (via sexgenderbody)