Let every person you sleep with know that it is a privilege to fuck you
A privilege they can easily lose
If they don’t recognize how incredibly lucky they are
Yeah, this has recently become my official position. Sex is something that’s really intrinsic to my understanding of myself and my body, and something that I spend a lot of time thinking about and working on, in the purely joyful sense of “work”. I am always considering, always pushing myself, always becoming more flexible and diverse in my capabilities. It pays off. I’m excellent in bed, and I’m sick of people saying I’m the best they’ve ever had but not acting like that’s something truly valuable to them. I need to fuck people who value the care, the thought, and the emotional labor I put into it as much as they value the way fucking me makes them feel.
"Liking sex doesn’t mean you have to be up for it 24/7, do it with thirty-five different people in a week, or walk around with the majority of your ass hanging out whenever the weather permits. I’ve had sex with plenty of men and some women who don’t understand or care about my love for fancy lingerie and who find pajamas, jeans, and sneakers hotter than french lace and high heels.
If you only want sex every three months and you love doing it with the lights off missionary style, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are potential partners who want the same, or who like it once every three months with the lights off doggy style and will be willing to take turns with your favored position and theirs.
If you want it filthy, rough, and hard three times a day for half the month and maybe once or twice a week while gazing into each others’ eyes for the other half, you can find one or more people willing to accommodate.
You’re highly unlikely to find any of these things until you figure out what you want and get comfortable with asking for it.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you aren’t that into sex. Communication is super important. For every “weird” thing you’re into, there’s someone else out there that’s into it too."
— Stoya (via sexual-feelings)
Thanks to you, I started processing my predilections like ten years ago, instead of like three years ago when I started actually having good, regular sex. So when I fuck the way Red and I fucked last night, all that happens afterwards is a glorious afterglow of finally, finally getting what I want - no worrying about being a bad feminist or a bad queer, or whatever. Just smiles and snuggles and smugness.
So thanks for Harry Potter fan fiction, especially the kinky stuff, especially things like “Fire Call,” which was really a big eye opener for me at age 16 or whatever. Thanks for porn, so I could figure out exactly what went into which holes and where they were (the first thing I put in my pussy was my NuvaRing - how I thought I was going to manage to figure out how to get a dick in there, I’m not sure). Thanks for Livejournal, especially snegurochka_lee and inell and their sometimes improbable descriptions of chicks wet down to their knees. Thanks for the LJ treasure trove of people writing sex and writing about sex. Thanks, even, for that awful Gorean fan fiction I stumbled upon when I was 12 or 13 and realized that I was super into it, but not sure if I should be super into it. Even if now Gor makes me want to punch shit, it was still a stepping stone to figuring out what I like.
Three cheers for internet sexual exploration and youth having access to it. Censoring is bull.