from giving so much head in the last 24 hours.
this pleases me.
— blck-grrl (in answer to an Ask about slutwalk)
and I disagree with the attempts to co-opt/”reclaim” the word slut.
why do we just not reject it altogether, along with the notion that there is anything wrong with women enjoying sex on their own terms?
*for me* reclaiming terms has been an effective way to remove their power to hurt me. this has been true of “dyke,” of “queer,” and of “lesbian” (which has become an insult, i think, within the queer community). when someone shouts “dyke” at me, i think, “…yes?” when some radqueer little shit is like “that’s so…lesbiannnn,” i’m like “…yeah?” they intend to insult, but in fact all they’ve done is identify me as something i am content to be. i feel the same way about slut, but probably a bit more complexly because of its paradoxical meaning and role in some types of sex i enjoy.
all of that said, my reclaiming of words is facilitated by the fact that i, of all queers, dykes, lesbians, and sluts, am at really low risk of actually being harmed by people identifying me as such. i’m cis, i’m white, i’m middle-class and employed somewhere that’s queer-, poly-, sex-, and kink-positive, and i often pass for straight. i don’t think it’s part of “feminism” to reclaim slut or any of those other terms; reclamation is not a prescriptive tenet of The Feminism. it is one personally significant way that i enact feminism on my own identities and my own body, but i can’t really claim that any other people should enact feminism on their own identities and bodies in the same way (or that they should enact feminism on their identities and bodies at all, given how fucked up the broad community/movement of feminism has been towards a lot of communities of women).
is how i would sum up the past week?
i dunno guys, my friends keep making fun of me and on wednesday the intern at work called me out on not being able to concentrate due to flashbacks to the night before.
and i’m about to go meet red by a bridge wearing only thigh-high boots, an njoy butt plug, and a pink lace nighty underneath my coat.
sea sponges rule, also. i got my period today but can still obey orders!
— Charlie Glickman (If You Don’t Respect Sluts, You Don’t Respect Women)